blue eyes
by questionmarxx
Summary: Light..." he had taken her hand and laced his fingers within hers. She hissed and pulled her hand away. She turned to him her eyes narrowed. Hope shrunk back but she could see the confusion in his eyes.
1. Chapter 1

_This is my first ff13 fanfic I tried my best on grammar and spelling so have mercy lol I don't own any characters or anything and I'm not making any money off of this so anyway please enjoy__._

_Blue eyes chapter 1_

She walked ahead of them they had arrived in the ark. This had been explained as being a training ground for l'cie. Her mind was racing they had just defeated another fal cie. one guised as a human _Barthandulus._

Lightning frowned. this string of events this extreme pressure was weighing her down. She gave a heavy sigh drawing the attention of the group. Their faces shined with the stickiness of battle their clothes worn down and eyes barely holding any hope.

Lightning was slightly ashamed. She was a trained soldier who knew how to survive and more importantly how to protect. She had acquired her friends through a curse. She smirked at that, it was unfortunate that she lightning would make friends in such a way. The point is she felt she had to protect them, even the so called hero and old man Sazh.

"Lightning?" ah so the hero speaks. She could almost mistake his tone for worry she answered with a simple nod of her head. She wanted to keep moving. She knew they were worried about her she was the leader although Snow would most likely disagree.

Vanille was walking happily besides a smiling Fang. Lightning forced herself to keep her calm gaze. it seemed that as long as those two were together everything was okay. Snow walked beside Sazh the older man didn't seem to mind too much although lightning knew better.

And then there was Hope. The smallest and youngest of the bunch was walking close to her although he was probably trying to keep his distance. She smiled slightly. Hope had traveled with her before. She found him to be very draining.

His whining and forlorn looks nearly broke through her calm facade. He made her angry, it seemed that whenever he wanted to whine he did and whenever he wanted to cry he did. Lightning could not even count how many times she'd cursed him during their journey together. And yet... he was the first one she told to call her Light. She had grown fond of him and had willingly offered her protection. She knew she wasn't being very inviting since she happened to snap at everyone who spoke to her as they walked through the ark.

She could not help that. The monsters were extremely nasty in this area and she had to fight in almost every battle, she was exhausted. Fang was helpful during the fighting as far as power but lightning was taking a beating. hope had always managed to cure them but there was only so much that could do.

"Is there something the matter?" it was Vanille, Lightning fixed her blue eyes on the girl.

"No its nothing, I'm going to scout ahead to find a place to rest" Vanille just nodded worry very evident in her gaze. Lightning wanted to sigh again but resisted the urge she ran up ahead.

This place had a high level of technology. She went through an electric door entering a hall there was another door leading most like to more monsters but she figured this place would be good enough to rest. The others came up behind her. Lightning placed her hands on her hips and closed her eyes.

"Why have we stopped?" it was Snow who seemed more wired than ever he barely had a speck of blood on him unlike Lightning who was covered in grime. "I'm tired" was her simple reply. He grunted and sat down on the hard metal floor.

The others bustled around situating themselves in the less than comfortable area; they were careful to keep away from the doors not wanting any "company" to come in.

Lightning leaned against the wall her eyes scanning the area. They had only bits if food that they picked up and a slab of behemoth meat that Lightning cut out whilst hope almost threw up watching it.

"Lightning" it was a timid voice that she recognized as Hope's. His green eyes were glancing up at her uncertainly; he held a piece of meat in his hand that most likely had been cooked by a fira spell.

He was handing it to her and Lighting noticed wanting to know if he could stand next to her. She cracked a small smile. This made him blush a light shade of pink.

Lightning took the meat it felt warm in her hands hope slid next to her leaning on the wall. She felt slightly uncomfortable. Since she and Hope had joined the others she had been very preoccupied. she barely said two words too him. Having Hope so close made her feel strange. Lightning thought back to whitewood forest.

_"Why don't you let me take point?" they had come to an understanding at that point. a companionship between teacher and pupil. She had nodded and reminded him that she would protect him from the enemies coming at his back...._

"Light..." he had taken her hand and laced his fingers within hers. She hissed and pulled her hand away. She turned to him her eyes narrowed. Hope shrunk back but she could see the confusion in his eyes.

He looked like he was about to say something "don't" she said his eyes were glistening now. Lightning looked away making sure no one had seen ther interaction. She turned back to him and then stepped back.

He was biting his lip so hard a line of blood ran down his chin his eyes were darkened in anger. Hope grabbed at her hand roughly but she was faster and grabbed his wrist slamming it against the wall. Hope dropped his head his silvery locks covering his face. Her grip slackened when she heard his small laugh.

"Afraid? I thought you told me fear makes you weak" he whispered, Lightning let his hand go she was about to say something until snow interrupted her

"Hey what's going on over here?" he had heard the harsh whispers between the two and then he saw hopes busted lip. "Lightning what the hell!" she turned to snow her eyes ablaze. She was tired and now extremely angry. She wasn't in the mood to explain that Hope had bitten his lip to that point instead she chose to walk away ignoring the stares of her friends.

Lightning lay still everyone had gone to sleep, hope slept far from her this time choosing to stay close to snow. Lightning sighed running her hand through her sweat filled hair. It was impossible to tell whether it were night or not in the ark. She rolled over on her side letting the metal sink into her. Hope and his awkward display of affection startled her.

Lightning gave off a heavy sigh. She closed her eyes and thought back to the white wood forest.

"_Light" his fingers brushed her hair away from her face. She mumbled something incoherent. She was sleeping exhausted from the long grueling fights._

_She had protected him with all she had yet never let him know he slowed her down. No, she would not let him think that again although she was generally annoyed with him. "Light" he called softly she stirred and opened her eyes staring into his green ones._

_She smiled slightly and sat up. Hope had told her he wanted to be strong to be like her. He wanted revenge for his mother he wanted so much. He reminded her of herself . That was why she didn't like him in the beginning. It's very hard for a woman like Lightning to look in a mirror and Hope just happened to be that mirror._

_During their travels together she noticed his smiling he seemed happy despite his actions being fueled by hate. He seemed to enjoy her company which of course wasn't very much considering she was very much a loner. Hope never seemed to mind which lightning assumed was because he didn't want to anger her. Lightning enjoyed teaching Hope the ways of the soldier although her methods were very straining on the 14 year old. Yet Hope had done something that had crossed the line. In that instant there understanding was shattered and they could never go back. _

Lightning sat up she decided that sleep wasn't such a good idea. She stood up and walked to the fire that Sazh had made. She had no idea how he got a fire going in such a place but she was not complaining. Those damn memories were ruining her.

She rubbed at her eyes and stared at the fire. She stayed entranced by it for some time wishing she could just burn away all her troubles. She reached a hand toward it watching as it made all the dirt stuck on her skin glow. She drew her hand back, then went to grab for her sword.

A fight... a fight would be good for her anything that could keep her mind off of that _child._ She walked out of the sliding door silently her sword drawn. She ignored the stinging of her eyes and the heavy bags underneath them.

She spotted three green sticky looking creatures and charged for them. This was not a smart move she was fatigued and not even completely healed from her former battles. She tried to justify it by thinking she needed to get stronger but that was so weak it didn't convince her at all. She performed blitz on them until they merged.

"Shit" she mumbled but managed to keep her calm. She ran up to the thing and slashed it trying to gain enough energy to launch it. Lightning ran up close preparing for a deep hit that would hopefully allow her an opening for launch. The enlarged blob now near death got to her first slamming down on her head and inflicting poison.

"Shit!" her vision was hazed now and her arms were going limp. Her gunblade felt extremely heavy. Lightning gritted her teeth she could feel the life being drained from her. She opted for another attack mixing magic with it. The thing was getting tired she knew it was almost over. She could feel her brand heating up she knew Odin was trying to claw its way out. She gripped her chest painfully

"No!" she sent a wave a ruin towards her foe. "I don't need you now!" she practically growled out. The heat subsided a little. Lightning hissed in annoyance she ran up to her foe and launched it into the air delivering one final blow. The thing screamed and then disintegrated. Lightning let out a slow an heavy breath poison was still upon her but she soon removed it with an antidote. She could usually defeat something like that with ease but she was already tired going into the fight.

"Maybe I should not have done that" she whispered she limped her way back through the door to where her companions were sleeping soundly.


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey everyone here is the next chapter I want to update this story quickly, my beta started editing but she did not finish sorry about that but any way here is chapter 2 _

_Blue eyes_

She collapsed onto her bed roll. The fight had done what she intended she was now tired. She wanted to laugh at herself; she was acting like a child. She rested her arm atop her head.

"This is something you would do Serah," she whispered to the cold ceiling. All she had wanted to do was fall into sleep…yet when she did unwelcome dreams flooded her mind.

_Lightning stood on a crystal her cape whipping at her back. She scanned the area with her usual cold gaze. Everything was crystallized. The sand, the trees, even the ocean. Her eyes widened in recognition. This was Boduhm except she didn't seem to care it was… as if it being like this was normal._

_Lightning jumped down from the rock which shimmered and disappeared as she left it. She walked the crystallized sand silently. There were no people about. It was as if they had faded away._

_Now she began to feel panic. This was her hometown-where was her sister? And then she saw her standing on the docks, very much alive. Her strawberry hair fluttered n the breeze and Lightning watched as she brushed the soft strands behind her ears._

"_Serah!" she called. The small girl turned around, her radiant smile calling Lightning to her. Lightning ran to her, slipping on the treacherous crystal she fell hitting her knee._

"_Damn it! Serah! I'm coming!" she got back on her feet throwing away her sword and it to shimmered and disintegrated. She had reached the girl taking in all her features. _

…_The face that looked so much like her own. Her sister simply smiled at her holding out her hand. Lightning refused her hand and instead pulled her into a hug._

"_Serah" she breathed Lightning closed her eyes allowing the tears to fall they ran down her chin hitting Serah's neck softly._

"_Light" she felt tiny arms encircle her waist and she smiled "Serah everything is okay now"_

"_Light what are you so afraid of?" Lightning furrowed her eyebrows. "Nothing Serah, I'm not afraid of anything." she hugged her sister closer. "I will always protect you" she said quietly._

"_Light is it so bad?" Lightning closed her eyes tightly. She slipped her hands away and grabbed her sister's shoulders. _

_She was staring into Hope's face; his bright green eyes were filled with emotion. He was begging her, pleading with her._

"_Tell me Light is it really so bad?" his voice was cracking his eyes tearing up. She simply stared into his eyes. He wiped at her tears and leaned in closer to her. He laced his fingers within hers._

"_Is this feeling wrong?"_

Lightning shot up from her palette on the hard ground of the ark. The others were still asleep. She had no idea how much time had passed. It couldn't have been long. She touched her face it was wet with tears. She mentally cursed herself. Her feelings were getting the better of her.

She wanted to get up, to pace around or even wake the others, but her injuries were too severe. She tried to roll on her side but the pain was even worse that way. She groaned. "Damn that fight really was not a good idea." she muttered, she would be useless when the others woke up. She was not a very skilled healer she barely knew how to throw a potion.

Lightning closed her eyes in frustration. She had no choice. "Vanille" she said calmly hoping that the small girl would hear her. Vanille did not even stir. Lightning ground her teeth. "Vanille!" she said more harshly…still no response. "This is ridiculous," she mumbled. Lightning sat up ignoring the pain as best she could. She half screamed half growled as she stood up. She was panting heavily and wiping constantly at her sweaty face.

She walked over to the sleeping girl on already wobbly legs. She was in a dangerous state. Lightning whispered the girl's name again hoping she would be better heard while standing over her. The world around her was growing dark "Damn it!" she yelled. causing Vanille to finally stir. She opened her green eyes to Lightning's looming form "Lightning? What's the matter?" she asked, her voice tired.

Lightning grunted and put her arms in front of her to steady herself. "Vanille I need a cura spell." she said through gritted teeth. Vanille frowned. "Light…I don't know that spell yet. I'm sorry!" Lighting could barely hold on she sank down on her knees next to Vanille.

"Lightning!" Vanille shouted standing on her knees and griping the soldier by her shoulders. The others were stirring now but it was Sazh who spoke up first.

"What the hell is going on Vanille!" he shouted obviously angered by losing sleep. Vanille still had her hands on Lightning's shoulders.

"Sazh its Light! She needs a cura spell!" Vanille squeaked out, her worry overtaking her.

Lightning rested her head on Vanille's shoulder. "Well wake that damn kid up then!" Sazh said impatiently. However, Hope was already there. He stumbled over to them rubbing at his eyes. Lightning shook out of her pain. She didn't want him to touch her. She bit her lip, mimicking Hope's actions before she stood up and groaned in pain.

"A …potion will be fine, Vanille…" Vanille had gotten up, steadying Lightning. "Light the cura will do a better job" Lightning looked into the girl's eyes knowing she was right.

Hope now stood next to Vanille. "Vanille I can take over" he said with a shy smile. The young girl nodded stepping away. Hope took Lightning's wrists between his gloved hands. She tensed at the touch. His eyes were still filled with that same anger.

"Light…" he whispered as the cure surrounded her. She felt her dizziness going away. "You told me that it wasn't wrong this feeling" he hesitated before he touched her face letting his finger glide down to her chin. Lightning was still her eyes were fixed on him.

"I never said it was right either" she said firmly. Hope snatched his hand away from her face. The light from the cura spell had died down. Hope stepped back he was hurt and confused by her.

"That didn't stop you from indulging in it _Light_" he said harshly but only loud enough so they could hear. Lightning turned away "control your emotions hope" she closed her eyes refusing to look in his face.

She felt him turn around and she opened her eyes. Lightning cursed weakness if she hadn't asked for help she wouldn't have had to hear his words. She had made a mistake allowed herself to be caught up in something vile.

She watched as he gathered his boomerang he slammed his things in his bag. Hope looked like a spoiled child whose parent had just told scolded him. Lightning sighed she would not approach him.

The group had set out after lightning's mishap. She was embarrassed but still managed to keep her commanding air about her. Hope hated that. he chose to accompany Vanille and snow rather than lightning.

He was baffled by her she continuously refused him. He was young and perhaps naïve but he knew he was right in his feelings.

He scratched at his head and groaned Snow gave him a questioning look and for a moment hope considered telling the muscular man all that happened. Snow would undoubtedly be appalled and try to keep hope away from lightning at all costs, but hope knew it wasn't entirely her fault.

"Maybe not at all" he mumbled blushing at the memory. He was immediately drawn to light from the beginning her power was something that he craved.

He had always been weak never really seeing the need to become any stronger. He was after all just a regular kid. When his mother died he hated himself cursed his lack of ability and set out to seek his revenge on snow.

Whilst studying lightning he began to grow dependent on her. He needed her protection he needed her knowledge and at times even her harsh reminders that he was weak. Hope scratched at his brand; he was sweating and still struggling to keep up with the others.

"Hope come on!" it was Vanille smiling and waving to him. He smiled back and broke out into a jog.

He caught a glimpse of lightning she simply nodded as if telling him to keep moving. Hope immediately turned away. It was as if shed completely forgotten! He clenched his fists.

He felt so helpless in the matter he couldn't even speak with her!

Hope sighed he had caught up with Vanille she was saying something to Sazh that hope could barely hear.

Hopes mind wandered back to lightning. She had said she would protect him but why did it feel like she was doing most of the damage? He wondered if she was annoyed by his persistence. Maybe she didn't think it was such a big deal.

Or maybe she didn't care. His heart clenched at that. He decided he was over thinking it maybe he didn't really need her with the others around. Maybe he could forget. Hope looked around at the dark place around him his eyes swimming in tears.

"I won't forget light" he whispered.


	3. Chapter 3

_Okay this is simply a teaser of chapter 3 this has been edited by my beta. However she did not get the full copy that I sent her. As you know the first two chapters were not edited. I want to update this story quickly but my beta is very busy and it takes her awhile. So here is something I am leaving completely up to you. If you would like me to update quickly I will post the unedited chapters up as I write them and replace them later with edited ones. If you would prefer to wait weeks between each chapter for an edited story I will do that, please review and tell me what you want I will not post until I get a good amount of opinions so please don't ignore me. _

_Anyway please enjoy this little piece_

…_No need to dwell on the past._ This she repeated time and time again in her head. She needed to be strong, to be strong for Serah. The way things were going she wasn't sure anymore. This life was so painful; so short. She knew that if she didn't press on, the promise of becoming a Cieth would be kept, this alone was enough to scare her.

Lightning knew, she knew as this journey progressed it would become more difficult to keep it together. Her companions spoke of team work, saving cocoon and saving Serah.

"But... its not just for her" Lightning mumbled to herself. She looked around at the rusted wires and perhaps broken machines woven into the Ark's structure. "I hate it here" she whispered. She hadn't bathed in days. Her smell was becoming offensive and she was sure she was not the only one.

Lightning spotted Vanille kneeling down, her hands gripping both of her knees. The girl was panting, tired after a fight with a behemoth who was not in a friendly mood. She looked almost as bad as Lightning. A soft smile crept up on her lips, but Lightning forced it away.

The fighting was harsh, even for her, but she noticed the team's strength growing. They were experimenting in fields that before were unknown to them. It was freeing to know that if they ever got separated every one of them would have enough abilities to take care of themselves.

Light finally allowed herself a smile, it was comforting; this sort of bonding between them all. She was not one to sit around and have heartfelt talks. She preferred her blade to words. She had changed, though. Before she became a l'cie fighting was the only option-- she never considered another. _And why do you think that is? _

"Damn" those were the only words she could muster; her own _conscience _was against her. _Look at you smiling at them… pretending with them. _She glanced over at Hope who chatted happily with Sazh. She inwardly cringed turning her attention toward her blade. The group had stopped to heal each other then they were to continue moving.

"Hey Light!" It was Snow, she sighed turning toward him, her eyes clouded over. He seemed to notice her preoccupied state and gave her a questioning look. She pretended not to notice.

"What is it?" she said somewhat annoyed. Snow then grabbed Hope by the back of his shirt. Hope yelped swinging his legs as the bigger man grinned. Lightning put her hand on her hip and raised a brow. "H-hey!" Hope yelled as a bright red blush spread across his cheeks.

"The kiddo says he wants to know some more offensive skills, you know like monsters ass-kicking stuff!" Lightning sighed, slightly amused at Hopes dangling figure. She ran a hand through her filth soaked hair. She pulled her hand away and grimaced.

"Well then teach him, Villers." She mumbled as she busied herself with wiping her hand on her skirt. Snow put down the red faced Hope and patted him on the back. "Come on Light! Teach the kid a few things!" Snow whined, Lightning rolled her eyes and began walking to them drawing her sword. Hope watched her, his expression unreadable before he spoke "N-no don't worry about it Light...you've taught me enough right?" she stopped in her tracks her eyes narrowed at him. He was staring back not allowing his eyes to waver. There was something there dancing within his pale green eyes, was he... _amused?_

Lightning held back a growl and flipped her weapon back; she shrugged as if it meant nothing and walked away from them. Even as she walked away she could feel his eyes on her, she turned around giving him a cold look he looked away quickly. She sighed, this was becoming difficult.

Hope was beaming when the party continued through the Ark. He kept replaying Lightning's annoyed face in his mind, he had said too much and he knew this, he couldn't help the rush he felt when he saw her mouth slightly open in protest then shut closed.

He knew he had the upper hand; she wanted _no one_ to know what happened between them, and _that_ made him want to shout it to them even more.

Maybe he shouldn't be thinking like this, but was it wrong to feel a _little_ satisfaction after being let down so many so many times? Hope grinned, walking a little faster than usual. Lightning was ahead of the group which was a normal pace for her.

He blushed while rubbing at his nose in an attempt to hide his face; she had such a confident walk, her hips swayed in such a manner that they were distracting. Hope's cheeks turned a darker shade of red, _perhaps I should try to_ _catch up with her?_ He shook off the thought scratching at his head. _No she probably won't talk to me after what I did._

"I'm being childish" he murmured. A strong arm patted his back; Hope turned but was only being nuzzled by the small chocobo. He smiled up at Sazh who gave him thumbs up before the older man ran up ahead to Lightning. He watched as Sazh caught up to her, they seemed to be having such a _normal_ conversation. Hope felt something tug at his heart; he longed to have that again.

The glares and arguments were becoming more consistent. Rarely did he ever get a smile from her, she avoided him. Hope was afraid that this could become a permanent thing. He didn't want to get into quiet disagreements with her for attention. But what else could he do?

_You could stop being childish. _Hope groaned sometimes he hated his mind. He needed to speak with her, to at least try. The only thing was… would Lightning even listen?


	4. continuation

_Well from the reviews I have received which were great by the way, you all want me to post quickly and replace the unedited chapters with edited ones later. So here is the rest of chapter three unedited I hope you enjoy it._

_Blue eyes (continuation)_

"Damn it Sazh!" she yelled in annoyance, the chocobo that was usually nestled in the older man's hair was now flying around lightning's face.

She swatted at it growling every time she missed the bright bird "h-hey now quit it! He just wants to get to know you" Sazh said a bit alarmed at the ferocity of Lightning's swipes. She sighed and stopped swatting at the bird; she placed a hand on her hip and held out her hand.

The bird flew around her hand curiously before settling down in her soft palm. The chocobo chirped happily before returning to its home in Sazh's hair. "I...should have done that earlier" she said frowning a little as she continued walking. Sazh was quiet next to her, it was an uncomfortable silence. Lightning decided to forget the feeling until she heard a sigh come from next to her. She raised a brow, waiting for Sazh to speak.

"Light uh... I've been meaning to ask you..." he trailed off scratching at his head. She simply stared at him her cold gaze never leaving his face.

"What's going on with you and the kid?" there was a long silence between them. Lightning had stopped walking, there wouldn't catch up for a few minutes considering how she moved. She closed her eyes folding her arms under her chest.

"I don't know what you mean" she said coldly, Sazh frowned making him look older than he really was. "Well it's just... Every time I see you two your off somewhere whispering" he paused, "and then after you storm off angry and he leaves looking all sad and whatnot it just doesn't seem to add up to me" he said. Lightning hesitated unsure of what to say.

"He is having a hard time with his fighting skills, I keep telling him he's fine but he doesn't listen. It gets to the point where I get angry and he gets emotional" she lied smoothly.

Sazh blinked, he smiled sheepishly "o-oh that's all? Well tell the kid he's great in battle that's nothing to worry about!" Lightning nodded putting both her hand on her hips

"Yes, those were my words exactly" she mumbled "now if you don't mind old man I'd like to continue, I'm sure the others are tired...I need to find a place for us to rest."

Without another word she jumped up and flipped out of sight. Sazh stared after her, frowning chocobo jumped out of his hair and flitted down to his open hands. "I don't know chocobo" he smiled when chocobo gave him a cheerful chirp.

Lightning grumbled to herself, she kept her eyes alert her face was set in a scowl. She thought of Sazh's questioning, if the others were also noticing it would become a problem._ Hell it's already a problem. Hope needs to be informed._ She grimaced that wasn't something that she wanted to do at all.

_If he knew about the problems he was creating perhaps he would...what, stop?_ Lightning stopped, she decided this was the area to rest. She cleared out most of the monsters on her own, the smaller beasts she left for snow and his group.

Snow always complained that she never left him anything_ good _Lightning smiled _serves him right that idiot. _She sat down in the middle of two raised surfaces. To her left down a ways were the monsters she left for snow they were dancing around in a circle. "Nasty magical ones" she whispered closing her eyes.

There were stairs leading up to each surface but only one had a hallway connected to it. That would be there next destination. She heard the sound of feet hitting the metal flooring, "just in time" she said getting up and running toward them. Snow, Vanille, and Hope came running down the slope that lead to Lightning. Sazh and Fang were close by but did not feel the need to run.

"Light!" Vanille called waving her arms smiling, Lightning stopped when she reached them, "some creatures await you down this hall to the left" she said. Snow beamed "all right! Let's go!" he said smacking his fist into his open palm.

Lightning shook her head then fixed her eyes on Hope. He was trying his hardest not to look at her, he looked at his shoes, the wall, and even the dirt under his finger nails. Lightning raised a brow but turned her attention back to Snow.

"These creatures deal in magic" she said firmly "take Sazh with you, he can perform as a synergist" Snow nodded, he called up to Sazh who ran down the slope quickly.

Fang walked to Lightning her spear drawn "what are we going to do while they clean up the nasties?" Lightning was quiet for a moment "Hope can help you set up camp" Hope turned to look at her "but I thought I was going with Snow"

She looked at him, her eyes piercing. "They don't need you two healers'" she said calmly. Snow had already charged down with Sazh and Vanille following close by.

"And what are you going to do while we set up?" Fang asked a little annoyed. Lightning sighed putting both her hands on her hips. "I'm tired; I've scouted ahead of you all taking down monsters alone, I need fifteen minutes rest" Fang nodded then sat down and folded her arms "There, and camp is made"

Lightning narrowed her eyes; she balled her hands up in small fists. Hope saw her, and quickly spoke up. "L-Light no she has the right idea; we left behind the things that we were carrying for rest." Lightning turned on him now her eyes ablaze. "Who decided that?" she grumbled, sitting on the stairs reaching up to the platform.

"Snow said it would be too much to carry, and he was right" Fang replied now lying on the cold metal floor, her arms outstretched. Lightning nodded choosing not to say anything. She stood up the turned towards Hope; he was sitting down as well holding his knees close to his chest.

"Hope" Lightning whispered, she didn't want to call him over but perhaps a talk was long over do. He didn't answer her; he was now rocking back and forth humming a light tune.

He looked like such…. _a child_, Lightning frowned. "Hope!" she hissed making him jump up and look over to her startled. Fang raised a brow but did not to say anything. Lightning motioned for him to follow her. She walked quickly towards the hall connected to the platform.

She closed her eyes waiting for him. He jogged up to her; Fang was now out of sight. His mouth was dry, his hands were shaking. He cursed himself for being so nervous; he opted for placing his hands in his pockets. Lightning looked at his face for a long while. Hope lifted his green eyes to her and felt his nervousness grow.

"We...need to talk" she said, her own heart was racing within her chest. She looked away from him and then turned back biting her lip. _Damn it, this shouldn't be this hard._ Hope waited patiently his eyes never leaving her face.

"t-these games that your playing are going to far" she said harshly, his eyes widened, _games? _She spoke to him like he was a child. "Light" he said slowly; removing his hands from his pockets.

She didn't stop talking, "Sazh questioned me earlier..." she said her voice shook before she cleared her throat; it was in that instant that Hope felt guilt. She locked her eyes with his; they were melancholy until she blinked the emotion away as quickly as it rose.

Hope felt immense guilt, _she_... _was sad?_ He had hurt her defied her trust this did not sit well with him. "Light..." he reached to her hands lacing his fingers within hers. "You kept pushing me away and-" she sighed giving him a firm look "it was a mistake Hope and nothing more, so... forget about it" she murmured

Hope squeezed her hands tighter when she tried to pull away, "you're lying" he said his eyes were filled with determination. Lightning looked at him, a familiar feeling tugging at her.

"_You're lying" he said staring into her eyes. She had smiled when he said it. Lightning brushed the silvery locks out of his face. "Yes, maybe I am but that doesn't change things" she said. They were sitting down together in whitewood forest. Hope looked at her a soft smile spreading across his lips "then for now?" he asked taking her hand within his._

_She smiled a little, "for now" she said, Hope leaned in closer brushing his lips against hers._


	5. chapter 4

_Here is chapter 4, it seems like a lot of you want to find out what happened between Lightning and Hope when they were traveling alone together and I will get to that in little flashbacks each chapter. I kind of want you to piece it together on your own, it's fun for me to see what you think, so please leave a review_

_Blue eyes_

Lightning took her hands away from his. Hope stared at her, then lowered his head .She could hear a light sniffle. Her eyes snapped towards him, tears were lining his cheeks and falling to the ground.

He was standing before her, his fists clenched tightly. Lightning stood completely still._ So…I've become this cruel, how many times you have stood before me Serah looking exactly like that?_ She stepped closer to him, causing him to step back. She bit her lip and attempted it again, but he still stepped back.

Lightning folded her arms under her chest. Hope looked up at her his cheeks were now red from his tears; he had been quiet for a long time so when he spoke it startled her a little.

"So…you w-wish for me to leave you alone" he whispered. Lightning sighed and pressed her palm to her head. She closed her eyes, listening to Hopes breathing. She slowly opened one eye and saw his eyes on her face. She gave a louder sigh, and then placed both of her hands on his shoulders.

Hope visibly stiffened, but she kept her eyes cold and unwavering. She lowered her head slightly then stopped when she felt his lips press against hers; Hope felt the sudden desperation sweep over him as he deepened the kiss. Her lips were salty most likely from the hours of fighting and sweat dripping down her face.

It was an awkward embrace considering the height difference, but that just made Hope all the more determined. Lightning pulled away and allowed Hope to wrap his arms around her waist. She did not hold him back; her arms lay at her sides. Hope buried his face into her neck, a slight smile creeping up on his features.

"So, then you _were_ lying" Lightning stiffened then relaxed a little, she raised a hand to his head, and patted the soft silver hairs.

"It's wrong…this feeling" she whispered. Hope held on to her waist tighter. "But, for now Light…" he said against her neck. She nodded; she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and closed her eyes. _What am I doing?_

Snow, Vanille, and Sazh were now back when Lightning and Hope finally emerged. Fang had fallen asleep; she was curled into a ball snoring lightly. Snow waved to them, a smile covering his face. Hope waved back practically skipping over to them. Lightning kept her cold demeanor only giving Snow a stiff nod.

Vanille had spotted Hope and ran to give him a hug; Lightning ignored it of course like she always did. Hope smiled returning the hug, he turned toward Lightning who was now in a deep conversation with Snow, and he frowned although the bigger man could go on about Serah for hours, Hope knew that he was not the only one who found Light attractive.

This turned his frown into a scowl. He thought of the kiss that the two had shared and relaxed a bit. It wasn't right to feel jealous over nothing, but Hope happened to do this a lot. He was wary of Snow and Sazh feeling a bit intimidated because they were older. He even worried about Fang, she wasn't exactly feminine and she did have a powerful air about her.

Hope shook away that thought immediately; Lightning would probably dismiss his thoughts as being childish. He smiled letting Vanille lead him to where Lightning and Snow sat. Vanille motioned for him to stay quiet. Snow had taken out Serah's tear and was looking at it with a sort of longing on his face. Lightning stared at it too her face sinking.

Hope felt the urge to go to her side but he kept still. Vanille had taken his hand and was holding it tightly. Snow was speaking to the tear, telling it of all his battles he told it of Lightning's scowls and Sazh's chocobo. He told it of Hope's strength, and Vanille's innocence. And then he handed it to Lightning.

Her eyes widened, and Snow smiled. Instead of taking the tear, Lightning stood up she glanced at Hope and Vanille's joined hands and raised a brow before turning to Snow. "I-I will speak to her when I am ready" she whispered. Snow nodded and placed the tear back into his pocket. She walked off and Hope shivered,_ cold as ice_ he thought sadly running his hand over his chest.

Vanille had let go of his hand and went to sit next to the sleeping Fang, This left Hope and Snow sitting together alone. Snow grinned at Hope and gave him a little shove "h-hey!" hope said rubbing his arm. Snow just grinned again "so, you and Vanille huh?" Hope was still rubbing at his arm.

"Excuse me?" he said a little annoyed with the "hero" Snow gave him a knowing look "no need to be shy Hope" he said slapping the younger boy on the back. Hope ground his teeth "would you_ stop_ that, you don't exactly have dainty hands Snow" Snow laughed and rubbed the back of his head.

"But you like her right?" Hope shook his head, and Snow frowned Hope was extremely uncomfortable with where this conversation was headed. Hope stood up quickly looking around for Lightning. Snow sighed "well I just hope you're not crushing on Light" Hope froze; he could feel Snows eyes burning holes into his back._ Damn _Hope smiled at him scratching at his head.

"w-what Light is too scary!" he said in a soft voice. Snow blinked then grinned obviously satisfied by Hopes answer.

"Yeah you're right, I don't even know why I said that" Hope smiled weakly. He walked away from Snow, and spotted Lightning his heart sped up in his chest and his face flushed. It was amazing how she could still cause such a reaction from him.

_She is just so beautiful_ even as she was now; none of them had a chance to clean themselves up since arriving here. But she simply glowed. Her hair stuck to her face and neck her eyes shone brightly even in the dim lighting of the ark.

Hope blushed he did not mind at all the layer of sweat on her, it made her entire body glisten accentuating the tight muscles in her legs and arms.

The only thing that frustrated him was her top. It was sealed all the way up to her neck; Hope had taken off his scarf a long while ago because of the heat and he was sweating just looking at her. _Perhaps if she_ _unzipped it just a little… _He blushed smacking his face with both of his hands; Lightning shook her head the sides of her mouth tugging upward.

She walked over to where he stood; he was incredibly red when she reached him. "Hope" he immediately stood straight locking his eyes with hers. She laid a hand on his shoulder, Hopes eyes widened_ what is she doing? , she cannot possibly be thinking about kissing me_. Lightning raised a brow.

"Hope you should get some rest, we will not be stopping tomorrow" he blinked; he was breathing heavily for some reason. Lightning took her hand off of him. She was concerned; he was acting very delicate. Hope knew if she made one wrong move he would expose them right then and there.

Lightning stepped back a little "Hope…" he grabbed her hands and smiled up at her, "Light, I am going to sleep over there" he pointed to the hall that they had come from earlier. Lightning shook her head slowly not quite understanding. Hope stared at her a deep red blush spreading around his face to the tips of his ears.

She looked at him for a long while and then back down to their joined hands when he squeezed hers very tightly. Her eyes snapped up to his as understanding passed through her. She removed her hands and gave him a firm look. Hope was ashamed, and her look of disapproval made it even worse. Lightning felt the blood rush to her face and looked away from him. "Fine, just don't wander too far down" she said quietly.

Hope nodded he walked away from her completely embarrassed. Lightning sighed. She looked over to Sazh who quickly turned away. _Great, he probably saw that little exchange. If I go to him tonight that will be even more suspicious._

Lightning groaned and sat down where she stood, Snow was laying down not too far from her, using his jacket as a blanket. His eyes were open and he was staring at the ceiling. Lightning lifted her knee and placed her head upon it. She held her sword in one hand.

"Be careful with him Light" her head shot up and she looked over to Snow, She chose to say nothing. He sighed a little upset at her silence.

"He's already lost plenty, just make sure you don't add to that" she smiled, picking up her gunblade running her finger along the tip. These words from Snow did not surprise her; she stood up sheathing her weapon.

"I have promised to protect him" she murmured she heard Snow chuckle he placed his arms behind his head.

"It's not the same thing Light" she had begun walking to where Hope said he would be. "Wisdom? From _you?"_ she said, Snow shrugged then he became serious "the kid has a crush on you" Lightning could almost laugh at the irony of this situation_ you don't even know the half of it_. "_And?"_ she said in a dangerous tone.

Snow sat up locking his eyes with hers "and that is something you can't protect him from" Lightning waited "he's going to be heartbroken sooner or later, I mean what are you like twenty five?" Lightning narrowed her eyes at him "twenty _one_" she said crisply, Snow shrugged "either way"

She pondered this for a moment, a strange sinking feeling in her stomach. She closed her eyes

"_But, for now Light…." _ Hope's words echoed through her mind and she breathed slightly easier "yes, for now" she whispered to herself. She turned to Snow fixing her cool gaze on him "you have nothing to worry about, besides there is always Vanille." She said slowly.

Snow smiled "yeah there's always her" Lightning mumbled a goodnight, and then swiftly walked past him. As soon as she had walked up the stairs she saw Hope. He had his knees pressed against his chest. He was staring at his feet. Lightning wanted to turn around and leave him there; she was becoming far too dependent on him for comfort.

Lightning walked towards him, she stopped just in front of his figure. Hope looked up at her and smiled shyly. She smiled back except it didn't quite reach her eyes. _I didn't even hesitate, Serah. _She sat down next to him._ When have I ever hesitated with him?_ Lightning let out a deep sigh. Hope looked at her sliding his hand within her own.

"Something the matter?" he was worried, worried that he was the problem. Lightning waved him off, she smiled slightly pressing her head against the wall. Hopes eyes were still on her. "Hope" she said softly.

"Hmm?" She squeezed his hand, and lifted it up to her face. She examined their hands. Hope smiled, he blushed a light pink. "Something wrong with my hand Light?" he murmured.

"No…it's just young" Hope's smile wavered a little. "It won't always be" he said a bit defensively. She sighed again

"That doesn't matter Hope" Hope bit his lip "you can't push me away, it's not going to work this time Light" she looked at him and then closed her eyes, she banged her head against the wall and growled in frustration. "When has it ever worked" it wasn't a question, but most likely he was thinking of a way to answer.

"Light..." she opened her eyes. "Don't say my name like that" she grumbled ripping her hand from his. Hope grabbed at her hand holding it tightly. Lightning wanted to scream at him she tried to stand up but was pulled back into her seated position.

She turned to him her murderous look matched with an equally angered one. "It's up and down with you!" he hissed into her ear. "Let_ go_" she said in a low and intimidating voice. Hope held onto her arm tighter daring her to try and leave him.

"You can't just end it!" he said the desperation very evident in his voice. Lightning did not move she bowed her head in defeat._ No Hope I couldn't just end it, and that makes it all the more unacceptable._

Hope's grip eased up a little, Lightning was rigid she was fighting herself and losing badly. "I-I love you" he whispered. She groaned and looked at him he was looking down gripping his pants within his fingers. She wanted to throw her hands in the air and yell as loudly as possible.

"You shouldn't" she said stiffly, she felt herself being tugged into a hug. She had given up on trying to make him understand. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her closer.

"It's a little too late for that Light" she sank into his arms not saying anything. She was tired; the guardian force did not train her in the ways of love, especially not the _forbidden_ kind.

"Control your emotions Hope" it was mumbled since she was draped over him her face pressed against his neck as he hugged her. He laughed and kissed the top of her head. "You should take some of your own advice don't you think?"

She said nothing closing her eyes; she would sleep for now and ignore everything else. Hope still held her close he was scared he hated that he was so young. He could only imagine what she was dealing with. If anyone knew of their relationship it would be Lightning who would pay the price. "They would make me into a victim" he whispered.

_I would only be a victim of her rare smile, or maybe a victim of her striking beauty_. Hope smiled running his hand along her hair. "I will try my best Light" he murmured "because I do love you" he could feel her sigh, she rose sleepy blue eyes up to his green ones. She stared at him silently her eyes searching for something.

Hope tensed up, red slipping onto his cheeks. She was gave him a grave look, she grumbled something then moved closer to him her head against his neck. "You have to_ much_ hope" she whispered her breath tickling his neck. He turned a shade darker. "Sleep" she said and he did.


	6. Chapter 5

_I do apologize if you feel this chapter ended abruptly, I'm not going to go into the exchange between Raines and the others because I'm trying not to spoil too much, and it does not affect this story in any way. This chapter is a bit shorter but the next will be longer, sorry for the wait my birthday just passed recently and I was pretty busy._

_Blue eyes_

Lightning had untangled herself from him the moment he fell asleep. He made a sound of annoyance but did not open his eyes. She gave a sigh of relief, she moved further away from him to give herself space. Hope had a tendency to embrace her far too tightly. He was mumbling something his silver head moving around in his sleep.

She was glad she had moved when she did, or else she would have been suffocated. She grinned _and that wouldn't be good. _She stood up and glanced over her shoulder, Hope was now sprawled out his hand lying atop his head snoring lightly. She walked down the steps to the sleeping group, she would keep look out like she always did.

She felt a twinge of shame at her actions towards Hope; he was so young and impressionable. She had no idea why Hope had even taken an interest in her. She was cold to him in the vile peaks perhaps even cruel. She saw him as a nuisance, another plague for her unsettled mind. And then he had gone and confessed his love for her. Lightning sighed and clutched at her chest, Odin was sensing her distress she rubbed her symbol until it cooled back down.

_Hope was eager to be near her, he followed her through the vile peaks when the others did not. He felt a pang at leaving Vanille, he had become fond of her in there short time together, but Hope knew she didn't walk the same path as him. He needed revenge to make the man who left his mother to die pay._

_Lightning was strong and silent; she wore a deadly look most of the time, which did nothing for her beautiful face. Hope wanted to be like her he wanted to do everything she did. _ Lightning had barely said anything when he joined her.

_They had not become close until Lightning stopped her eidolons attack. It was in that moment that his admiration grew into obsession. Lightning's own behavior had changed as well she was not surprised that she saved him, she was surprised at the terror she felt. Usually she would stop an attack without much feeling at all besides minor satisfaction. But when Hope was in danger it felt incredibly painful._

_He would watch her constantly after that. He would study her movements, the way she talked, and especially her eyes. Lightning was uncomfortable around him; his stares did not go unnoticed by her. It brought an unrecognizable feeling in the pit of her stomach._

Lightning watched as the others stirred, Impatience formed within her. She was suddenly desperate to get moving. It had barely been an hour though and it would be cruel to wake them. So she would stay put ignoring the bags under her eyes. She was tired when she was with Hope a moment ago, but she knew she would not really sleep.

If she didn't sleep then he wouldn't sleep, that was just the kind of stubborn Hope was. He was clingy, overly emotional, and insisted on touching her whether it be her hand, or her face, or just bumping into her. These things should push her away, make her growl in annoyance (which she occasionally does) but they did not have such a negative effect.

And yes she _did_ kiss him, Lightning frowned at that. She had kissed him before that too, and a few other times that she tried to forget about. _My feelings are similar to that of love; I am in love with a __**kid**__ some fal cie has to be controlling my brain_.

Despite the war that constantly raged in her head whenever she was around Hope, She was somewhat content. But Lightning would never be truly happy until the end of this journey.

She still wasn't completely sure of what she was doing. It felt as if she were trying to grab at the wind, the result was it always slipped through her fingers. She would usually think of Serah in these times, but her sister never felt further away.

This was true weakness _real_ weakness; she was letting herself become swept up with whatever she fancied. _Maybe I am falling apart, first a child and now I even feel like giving up on the only thing that could give me Serah._

"Pathetic" she said aloud, Lightning lifted her head upwards glaring at the dark twisted ceiling. The way she was behaving was against all that she fought for, yet again she was _wrong_.

She was always wrong, wrong for never listening to her sister, wrong for hating Snow with almost no reason behind it, wrong for playing with a boy's heart. She placed her head into her palm rubbing at her temples, tears threatened to fall. She rubbed at her eyes roughly.

"I will be stronger Serah" she growled, making a promise to her sister and herself. "I will never give up" she stood up ignoring her fatigue and shook Snow. The blonde grumbled curses at her, but stopped when he saw the cold blue eyes on him.

"Get everyone up, it's time to move" she said coldly, she drew her weapon and walked off leaving him scrambling to put his jacket on.

Hope was tired he was kicked awake by Fang; he panicked grabbing at his chest to shield Lightning only to feel that she wasn't there. He pouted a little then snapped at Fang "_what?_" he said, Fang rolled her eyes then spoke in her exotic accent.

"Light says it's time to be off" Hope sat up straight at the mention of Lightning. He grabbed his scarf and jumped to his feet, his hair was wild sticking almost completely up.

Fang laughed although it was a bit strained because she was tired. Hope turned red his green eyes questioning, Fang ruffled his hair making it stick up even more. "H-hey!" he said smoothing his silver hair down. Soon the others joined them all looking very tired and angry.

Snow barely hid his frustration he was cursing loudly saying something about how dreams were happiness. Lightning swept by them her eyes red rimmed and icy blue. She ignored Snow and turned to them.

"We will continue down this hall" Hope flinched at her tone; she was in one of her moods. Her eyes scanned their weary faces. Sazh spoke up next his chocobo nestled into his hair sleeping soundly.

"Light we could all use a little more rest cant this wait?" Lightning narrowed her eyes at him, she looked completely terrifying. She spoke in a low intimidating voice.

"I have no time for your complaints, we have rested enough" Hope shrunk back; this was not the Light he had just spoken to a few hours before. Sazh looked taken aback but did not say anything. Snow had stopped his mumbling his hands now in his pockets. Lightning was content with their silence; she was losing all patience for her teammates. This was only because she had lost patience in herself.

She turned back around with a dramatic sweep of her cape; she was walking briskly the others already lagging behind. Fang had a scowl on her face she was walking with Sazh behind Hope, Snow and, Vanille. She and Sazh were mumbling curses towards Lightning about her pace and her cruel leadership. Fang was speaking loudly to make sure that Lightning heard.

Lightning never stopped. This seemed to anger Fang even more. Sazh grumbled and then sighed when Fang got even louder with her comments. Fang stopped her taunts since Lightning refused to indulge her. Vanille had grabbed hold of Hopes hand her face filled with worry. Hopes face mirrored Vanille's, Lightning was so angry what was it about? He wanted to run up to her and shake her until she spoke.

"Going in circles" he mumbled, Vanille looked at him and squeezed his hand. Hope smiled at her and then loosened his hand. "I'm going to catch up with Light…" he didn't wait for her reply.

Lightning had a dangerous look on her face; her eyes were alert and her weapon drawn. Hope felt incredibly small when he came up to her. It was difficult to keep up with her pace and he found himself panting.

"_What_?" she said, he could hear how annoyed she was. She glanced at him quickly straightening her back as if preparing for a blow. Hope winced, _am I that much of a problem? _ "Light what's the matter?" she did not even look at him, Hope could feel his anger rising but he forced it down.

"Light?" He could hear a growl escape her lips. Hope's eyes narrowed he bit his lip. "Why are you behaving so differently?" Lightning sighed, still not slowing "there are certain things on my mind" Hope waited, but she said nothing else.

"Light you should be able to, well to talk with me when something is wrong" he said touching his fingers together, Lightning scoffed still not looking at him. Hope was about to turn away when she spoke, her voice was even and a bit softer than before.

"Hope, you should stay ahead…. with me" his heart was racing and he nodded quickly, he was not going to question her sudden mood change. _Maybe she needs me to be close to her_. Lightning had slowed her pace a little to avoid Hope's panting.

He was right of course that she should speak with him; she was ashamed of her rudeness. _He doesn't deserve such treatment; switching things up on him so much must confuse him. It's not his fault, I am the one responsible for this mess and I will be the one to fix it._

They arrived in a clearing there were very few monsters about, but one man caught lightning's attention. It was Snow who spoke first.

"Raines?" Lightning's back stiffened; Hope was standing close to her his green eyes flashing from snow to Raines. Snow was advancing towards cid in a friendly manner before Fang managed to stop him. Lightning was alert her fingers curled around her weapon tightly.

"Traitor!" the yell startled Hope, he saw Lightning running towards Raines. Raines did not even flinch he parried all of Lightning's moves sending her flying backwards. If you had blinked you would have missed the exchange. Lightning was breathing heavily, now kneeling her hair disheveled. Hope touched her shoulder lightly then turned his attention to Raines.

Fang spoke next "why are you here?"


	7. Chapter 6

_Here is chapter 6 I hope you all like it. Thank you for all the reviews they are very encouraging. I changed things around a bit to avoid spoilers and to better suit the romance between Lightning and Hope. So review tell me what you think._

_Blue eyes_

She felt slightly light headed. The bright sunshine blinded her; they did not exactly get to Pulse easily. She grimaced at the thought of Hope and Vanille flying out of the airship. She was still tired; the battle with Raines was tough. She had returned to camp, the group dropped everything and decided on some rest.

Pulse was incredibly beautiful, bright green plant life covered the area; everywhere you looked there were wild flowers. Lightning breathed in, the place lived up to its name, and it was a pulse, a heartbeat everything was filled with life. The others had gone to scout the area, when Lightning said she would join them they all disagreed. Raines gave her the heaviest blows during their battle and no one missed the way she limped around Pulse.

Lightning smiled it would be nice to be alone for awhile; _I can finally get rid of this filth all over me_. She removed her gloves first while glancing around to make sure no one was in sight. She wriggled her fingers around enjoying the feel of her bare hands. They did not camp next to a water source so she would have to do some walking.

Lightning didn't mind the walk, her steps were becoming lighter and a small smile crept up on her lips. She missed being_ alone_ every where she went she had people right at her hip. Lightning was still becoming used to this, especially with Hope.

_Hope… _she was still contemplating what to do with him, she knew if she tried to push further away he would cause a scene_ which is not needed right now_. Her usual coldness did not even seem to faze him anymore.

"Perhaps I should stop trying" the thought was appealing; to just leave everything alone and do what she wanted. _Hope certainly would not disagree since that is exactly what he is doing. It's also childish, reckless, and quite illegal._

She chuckled but who was too say that they would even survive this journey to freedom? If she told Hope her feelings and loved him then she would have no regrets if she were to die._ That's a lie I would have a hell of a lot of regrets, besides he already knows, we have already crossed that line! The question is what to do next._

"Nothing" she said aloud, although she hated this solution it was the least painful. _I will continue on, for Serah and for Hope. I will share these feelings with him…. For now._ This was truly the best she could do.

She removed her clothing swiftly when she got to the small body of water. The lake was further away then she thought. Her clothing was stiff with sweat and dirt; she decided that soaking them in the cold water would do more good than bad.

Her feet touched the sharp rocks that lay underneath the water. She frowned choosing to walk a little lighter. She stopped when the water reached her neck; Lightning closed her eyes and sank under.

Hope twisted his fingers nervously; his friends with the exception of Vanille were giving him looks. Sazh stayed very close to Hope when they arrived in Pulse, he could barely look in Lightning's direction without the older man giving him a saddened look.

Snow just seemed to be on edge, often glancing at hope with a worried expression on his face. Hope was becoming irritated with them, Fang insisted on making jokes about older women making Sazh and Snow crowd him even more. Hope sighed he told them that he would go collect food, Snow suggested Vanille go with him. Hope refused and Snow became more persistent.

"Hope, it will be safer if the both of you go…" hope wanted to scream at the man, Sazh nodded. Fang snorted giving Hope an amused look "just go get Light I'm sure he wouldn't mind if _she_ went" Snow cringed a blush covering his cheeks.

"Vanille should be the one to go" he said, a little louder than intended. Fang rolled her eyes. Vanille hadn't said much, she was quieter than usual when they arrived in Pulse. "no Snow I think he can handle himself" she spoke up, Hope flashed her a grateful smile then moved ahead of them, he clasped his hands behind his back and smiled his bright green eyes shining.

"Sooo I guess it's settled then!" he said happily, the frowns he received sent a shudder down his spine but he chose to ignore it._ There's nothing they can do any way, they can't keep me from her._

Vanille nodded smiling "yes, now hurry up! Were starving" He was about to take off when Snow called out to him. "We are going back to camp! Meet us there when you finish"

"Oh, hey kid!" it was Sazh this time, Hope held back a groan. "Chocobo is feeling a little restless take him with you?" Hope nodded and smiled as the small bird flew over to his head and was soon buried into his silvery locks.

_Finally, I thought they would never leave me alone._ Hope walked slowly the grass crunching under his shoes. He was happy, his thoughts were filled with Lightning there was not a time when he didn't want to be with her.

He liked to think she felt the same; it made him blush insanely to think of her pondering his kisses. "I wonder if they feel as soft to her as they do to me..." Hope felt warmth inside his stomach at the thought. There was a time when he knew she thought of him, even if it was only for a moment.

_His fingers trembled; he trailed soft kisses down her stomach his cheeks burning all the while._

Hope shook at the memory his whole face encased in fire, his mind was on overload that_ is something I should not think about for sake of survival._ Hope placed the palm of his hand on his forehead he took a deep breath. Chocobo chirped flying around his head, he smiled holding out his hand. The bird landed softly Hope brushed its feathers with one finger.

"Don't fall in love chocobo, it will have you blushing like an idiot" the bird chirped again and Hope groaned. "Looks like my warning was too late huh?" he chuckled when the bird pecked at his cheek.

"Well better get moving, don't want to deal with a hungry Light do we?" Chocobo nestled in Hope's hair again and chirped loudly.

Lightning was a little disappointed to come back to camp and find everyone there. She immediately noticed that Hope wasn't among them. Her hair was dripping and her clothes were not dry either, the dampness felt nice against her skin since it was very warm on pulse. Lightning walked to Snow who was sitting by an unlit fire.

"Where is Hope?" she asked calmly ignoring Fangs chuckle. Snow glared in Fang's direction the woman shrugged still laughing. "He went to get some food together" Lightning could feel her eyes narrow.

"And?" she said, Snow glanced around him before looking back at her "and what light?" she could feel a growl coming up her throat. "So you just let Hope go off by himself in a place that we know almost nothing about" she whispered this, in disbelief at this man's foolishness.

Snow sighed he was tired as well unlike Lightning he didn't have a long soak in a lake. She was becoming annoying to him, he was already on edge with his suspicions towards her and Hope's relationship, and now she was yelling at him for leaving a perfectly capable boy to get food.

"he will be fine, he insisted on going alone" Lightning sighed that was Hope's personality he always wanted to prove himself. "I'm going to look for him" she stated, Snow being too tired to care simply nodded. Sazh spoke up just as she had grabbed her weapon "want some company?" _odd question _she thought.

"No need" she swept by Sazh, walking briskly. Sazh turned to Snow shaking his Head.

"Oh will you two lay off it!" Fang said, she was tired of them they had more important things to worry about than Hope's little crush.

"Light is a responsible adult she aint gonna let that kid get away with anything so cut the bull shit" the two males frowned "I know that but I can't help but get this feeling…" Snow trailed off he felt ashamed, he knew Lightning was a strict individual but he found it to be a little much when Sazh had similar suspicions as he.

"Yeah well it's kind of childish to keep this up" Sazh said while sitting down. Snow nodded watching Lightning's figure slip away.

Her clothes were already beginning to dry which she was grateful for. She was sweating again and sweat mixed with damp clothing made her feel like a rust pudding. She was annoyed that she was the one going to get Hope instead of anyone else. Was she really the only one who thought letting a kid go off by himself was bad? _No I'm not the only one Snow is just an idiot._

She noticed the way Snow and Sazh crowded Hope trying to keep the boy away from her. Lightning said nothing about it; she had pretended not to notice simply because she needed a break. Although she decided on living in the now instead of later that didn't mean that her own conscience didn't bitch at her enough to cause physical pain.

Here she was again _looking_ for Hope just _asking_ for trouble. He could take care of himself she knew this but she still pressed on. Perhaps she missed him and was just looking for an excuse to go running after him. It scared her to think that, that could be true and if it was how awkward would it be for her to charge out of nowhere while Hope was picking berries or something.

Lightning groaned Serah would be doubled over with laughter if she knew what her sister was thinking. A blush spread over her face, she could just imagine herself trying to defend her thoughts with a sword which would only make Serah laugh harder. _"Oh Light relax! Just think about what you want to do"_ her sisters words echoed through her mind and she found herself answering out loud.

"Don't you think I've done enough of that?" Lightning stopped walking and looked towards the sky. "Don't you think I'm wrong Serah?" even her memories couldn't answer that, a bitter taste formed in her mouth. She began walking again only slower this time she was dreading seeing him but that never stopped her before.

Her expression was blank when she came to a clearing where she spotted Hope kicking a tree. Big bright green fruit fell from it, chocobo chirped in triumph and Hope laughed wiping the sweat from his brow. Lightning approached him her steps feather light. She touched his shoulder and he yelped fumbling for his boomerang.

"Too late Hope, if I were a monster you would already be dead" she said quietly. Hope sighed clutching his chest. "Who's to say you're not a monster" he said a grin spreading over his face. She placed her hands on her hips and frowned_ that's not even remotely funny._ Hope noticed her change in expression and looked down "ha-ha sorry I guess that wasn't very funny" Lightning said nothing for a minute.

She was relieved to see him in one piece; she had to admit her imagination was running wild. "its fine Hope" he looked back up his green eyes sparkling his heart was beating fast it felt like it had been years since he saw her even if it was only a few days. "It wasn't wise to come out her by yourself, something could have happened"

He smiled "something _did_ happen Light" Lightning fought off the urge to roll her eyes. "You came here" Lightning hated the way her heart sped up at such a cheesy line. "Right, yes I know I came to bring you back" Hope smiled at her slightly red cheeks, Lightning had a tight grip on her emotions but his eyes were trained. He spent so much time gazing at her on a regular basis he knew when she was blushing.

"Well I'm not quite done here, do you want to stay until I finish?" she nodded and sat down on the grass taking out her gunblade. Hope watched noticing the bright rosy color had returned to her hair. Her skin was once again a soft cream color and her clothing not filled with the sweat and dirt.

"Your beautiful like that" Lightning closed her eyes ignoring him until she felt his lips against hers. He pulled away quickly returning to the fruit. She smiled slightly "thank you" she whispered. Hope blushed and kicked the tree again. She watched him, content for a moment. She closed her eyes again enjoying the warm breeze across her face.

Lightning heard a very loud thump and then a series of annoying chirps. She sighed and opened her eyes she was about to scold Hope until she saw him lying completely still on the grass with a frantic chocobo flying around him.

For a moment no air got to her lungs, her fingers were trembling as she walked unsteadily over to him. For a moment it looked as if he were not breathing Lightning felt her whole mouth go dry "hope?" she croaked she touched his back and he did not move. Tears threatened to spring up but she forced them down.

Lightning picked him up situating him on her back. " I close my eyes for one minute and then you do this to me"


	8. Chapter 7

_Okay this chapter took awhile I'm sorry this was a hard chapter to write it's sad with a bit if humor mixed in to lighten the mood. I'm sorry about the last chapter a few of you thought that Hope got knocked out by a fruit which is not the case although that would be funny it didn't happen that way I go into detail about what happened later in the chapter. And I should have been more detailed about that so again I'm sorry. Oh and I have no idea if I am going to put Alexander in the story because I don't want to ruin it but if people want him in then tell me in a review, and thanks for all the reviews they are awesome!_

_Blue eyes_

Lightning returned to the camp with the unconscious boy on her back. Vanille ran up to them first.

"What happened!?" she patted Hopes head then poked his side; she looked up at Lightning who simply shook her head.

"I have no idea one minute he's up then next he's not" Lightning grumbled, she didn't want to admit that she was so upset she forgot to check him for injuries.

Snow ran over to them giving Light an icy stare "What the hell Light! Did you lecture him to death?!" Lightning ground her teeth and decided to let Vanille tell him what happened. She mumbled something and gave Hope to Snow. "lay him down somewhere Snow" she said snow nodded turning away from her and Vanille.

"Light I think this could be something with his brand" Vanille said her voice thick with worry. Lightning nodded her heart was pounding _damn I didn't even think of that_ "well the only thing that we can do now is let him rest"

Lightning really had no intention of stomping away but she did, it was absolutely frustrating to her _why can't I control myself? It's almost painful to sit so far away from him. _When Hope woke up he would probably whine to her about not being near when he needed her. And of course she would say something mean and that would be the end of that conversation.

_I won't even get that satisfaction if he doesn't wake up._ Lightning walked over to the place where Hope had been laid down. His brows were knit together and he was mumbling, at times he would grab at his brand and yell in pain. Lightning simply stood over him watching her eyes glassy her fingers curled into fists.

She wanted to peel off the skin that was branded, to tear away that ugly tattoo and free Hope of his nightmares. Lightning could see the way it glowed and pulsed underneath the small scarf that covered it. Hope's whimpers were becoming louder and tears began falling from his eyes. It looked so _painful_ she put a hand over her mouth and closed her eyes._ He is in pain and I can't do anything._

Lightning knelt down and touched his wrist feeling the heat that radiated off of it. Hope flinched and then gasped in pain. She withdrew her hand blinking back her tears she clenched her jaw and touched his brand again, this time not moving her hand away. She ran her thumb over the eye of his brand using circular motions.

Hope's breathing calmed a little, and she continued "Hope… it's time to wake up now" she said softly. The others were drawing closer to them. Vanille had her hand on Fang's shoulder, Sazh watched carefully while Snow didn't say a word, he held Serah's tear tightly in his hand. Hope's eyes fluttered but then clamped shut again. Lightning forced the tremor out of her voice and spoke again.

"Hope, wake up" She leaned her head in closer to his, her breath tickling his nose "Hope?" His eyes opened slowly his vision hazy but he could still make out the rosy hair that tumbled over a delicate shoulder. He blinked and he could see her bright blue eyes.

His heart warmed at her presence "Light" she smiled and her features looked relieved, he smiled too not quite sure of what was going on.

Hope reached up and touched her lips with his intending to deepen the kiss until he heard a loud yell. When Hope pulled away Lightning's eyes were glassy_ why is she angry? Or is it something else..._ "Light?" and then instead of his vision being taken up by beauty he was looking at an incredibly red Snow.

"Shit" was the only word that left Lightning's mouth before the huge man was upon her. She bit her lip standing up and looking Snow straight in the eyes. The others were also standing with Snow but they were not the immediate threat. Hope scrambled to his feet but immediately regretted it when a wave of nausea hit him.

"Lay back down Hope" Lightning said quietly. Hope shook his head, and Lightning turned to him a pained look on her face. "Do it for me Hope" the way she said mad him shiver she sounded as if she would break if he did not do as she told him. Hope sat down on the plushy grass his eyes darting from Lightning to Snow._ They can't keep me from her. I won't forgive them if they hurt her!_ Lightning stood directly in front of Hope blocking him from the others.

"What _in the hell_ is going on here Light?" Snow asked drawing closer to her his fists balled at his sides. Lightning gave him a cold look her hand on the hilt of her gunblade. "Back off Villers! I won't hesitate" Sazh placed a firm hand on Snows back "we don't need this right now man, save it for another time!" He shrugged off Sazh's hand "what the hell would Serah_ think_?!" he was so close to her face the moisture hit her nose.

Lightning drew her blade and pressed it firmly against Snows neck "I. said. Back._ Off." _ But Snow just pressed closer the blade cutting into his skin a thin line of blood dripped down his neck.

"I promised his mother that I would take care of him! And what are you doing!!? "He closed a hand around Lightning's neck. "Well who fucking knows what _you've _been doing" Lightning's face was blank, Snow spat on her boot then gave her a disgusted look and walked away.

The camp was silent Lightning still stood in the same spot her sword hanging limply at her side. Hope eyes were wide and tears were running down his face. Fang simply whistled turning away from the two and tugging Vanille with her.

Sazh watched Lightning's face and she turned to look at him sneer coming over her features "what are you staring at old man, upset that it wasn't you I chose?" Sazh sighed shaking his head and turning away.

Lightning wanted to crumble right then and there she deserved it of course but she couldn't help but feel bitter inside. She was lost She had just been humiliated and she deserved it._ It's not like I didn't know this was going to happen I chose this I promised Hope I told him for now and now that time has passed._

"Hope" he jumped his eyes were red from tears he looked at light his lips trembling "L-light I-I'm so sorry!" she kneeled down and ruffled his silvery hair she lifted his chin up with her finger. For a minute she just stared into his eyes.

"No need to cry Hope" this only made more tears fall from his eyes "I love you! They can't keep me away from you" she smiled wiping away his tears she sighed trying to gather her thoughts.

"Listen Hope… we have a focus and the focus comes first" Hope stared blankly at her his hands shifted to her elbows "I don't understand" he said Lightning sighed wetting her lips "our time is up" she said the thick silence that followed could be cut with a knife.

Lightning could not look at Him She could only feel the tightening grip he had on her elbows. She bit the inside of her cheek and closed her eyes when he let out a choked sob.

"Light "he whispered, in that moment she envied him he expressed himself so freely. He never hesitated because he felt_ safe _enough to let it out because he_ trusted_ her.

She smiled again "this is something that you have to do Hope" he shook his head violently pulling her closer "I don't have to do anything!" he yelled his face buried into her neck. Lightning sighed patting his back. _What am I supposed to do! I have truly failed everyone, if I keep Hope close to me then I am scum if I push him away then I am worse than that._

"For now this is what needs to be done" she whispered into his hair, if anyone dare come upon them during this moment she would surely kill them. She needed this and it would not be cut short by prying eyes. "Do you understand Hope?"

She said firmly, pushing him back and staring into his eyes. He nodded "just for now" he mumbled a bitterness welling up inside him. He looked at Lightning with an undisguised longing and she gave him a sad smile._ Stop smiling Light _

"Thank you Hope" he nodded stiffly, she stood up "I won't be able to be as close to you don't try to provoke anything from me" he said nothing instead he focused his eyes on his palms.

"Thank you" she said again walking off to a far end of the camp ignoring everyone's stares._ What the hell is wrong with me thanking him? I should have said more. I should have been more caring._

Hope blinked a few times he wanted to yell out to her to tell her he didn't care and that he loved her. He wanted to tell her so much; he wanted to kill Snow for speaking to her in such a manner. He felt a dark hatred spread all throughout his chest how dare he! He knew nothing about Hopes relationship with Light!

Hope jumped to his feet he began to pace back and forth by the fire._ I could kill him for this, how could he do this he didn't even look at me while he yelled at her! It was as if I played no part like I was the victim! Victim be damned I've lost almost everything and I'm still not considered just as much of a man as he or Sazh!?_

Hope felt like yelling at the top of his lungs _one thing I wanted just one thing and it is snatched away from me just like my mother! Just like my life! By those fal cie but Lightning wasn't taken from me by anything supernatural I can control this!_

He was so angry he was panting Lightning had barely left his presence fifteen minutes ago and he had worked himself up so much he couldn't breathe._ I just need to calm down, I need to find Snow and confront him_. Hope felt a light touch on his back he jumped taking out his boomerang he didn't lower it when he saw Fang and Vanille.

"What is it?" he spat his green eyes taking a darker shade. Vanille wrung her hands then nudged Fang with her shoulder "so you like Light eh?" Fang asked a smile spreading across her face

"I love her" he said and then blushed when Fang _and_ Vanille burst into laughter Vanille wiped a tear from her eye and gave Hope a quick Hug " well than! We will just have to help you then huh?" Hope lowered his boomerang.

"I don't need any help" Fang suddenly got very close to Hope she leaned into him "so how far have you and her gone?" Vanille giggled a bright red blush staining her cheeks "Vanille may act shy but she wants to know too" Hope turned incredibly red he almost got dizzy from the feeling

"I don't think Light would want me to talk about that Fang…" Fang and Vanille gave another round of laughter except this one was longer. Hope was scowling by the time they finished "are you done?" he said crisply

Fang smiled "no need to get offended I just never knew Lightning was that affectionate" Hope blushed again_ "sooo how was it?" "Fang!" Vanille whined "don't bother him so much! Were trying to help remember"_

_Fang shrugged and Hope sighed "so listen kid we will go with you when you confront Snow, we'll be totally on your side" Hope raised a brow and crossed his arms over his chest. "Why?"_

"_Cause I feel like it" was the only response Fang gave the boy._


	9. Chapter 8

_Ha-ha heeey I know a lot of you might want to kill me right now! And I'm sooo sorry! There is no excuse for my lack of an update and on top of that this is a short chapter I know I know the audacity, but this is also the second to last chapter of blue eyes and I promise you the next chappie will be longer and filled with much of Hope and Light goodness! I love reviews so please?_

_Blue eyes_

Hope was nervous, he had talked a big game and was still angry but he could not bring himself to face Snow. It had been _days _Lightning hadn't said a word to him since. She continued to play the fearless leader. Although he would sometimes catch her looking at him, she would simply direct her blue irises in another direction. This made Hope feel guilty and the constant prodding of Fang and Vanille didn't make it any better.

"Kid when are you planning on talking to Snow, we don't exactly have unlimited time here" Hope could feel his head pounding "yeah Hope Fang is right it's been awhile now..." said Vanille. _If they would just be quiet for one second! Gods! Fal cie! Anyone!_

"I know that, I'm just waiting for the right opportunity" Fang snorted and looked ahead to where Lightning was walking "Miss Light has not said a word to anyone since that little incident" Vanille giggled "I overheard Snow trying to apologize to her about grabbing on to her neck but she just punched him and walked away"

Fang laughed loudly and looked over at a frowning Snow who had a huge red spot on his cheek. "Looks like she got him a couple times…" Hope looked at the big man and a frown formed over his features'_ I should have done something Light always has to do things alone, and I can't even go up and talk to him_. "I think I will go and talk to Snow tonight"

Vanille tapped Hope's shoulder and he looked up at her "are you sure Hope? Cause you kinda said that yesterday…and the day before that" "and don't forget about the day before that!" Fang added happily. Hope glared at Fang who simply shrugged he sighed rubbing at his head, "well this time I will"

He watched Lightning push herself further ahead of the rest of them, _I feel like she is leaving me behind, like I won't be able to catch up with her._

It was an unwelcome feeling, the feeling of being alone it reminded of him of when he lost his mother or when he had to leave his father behind. _I don't like this_ Hope watched her cape sway from side to side _she has not looked back once, she hasn't looked at me…at all today_.

"Hey Hope" it was Sazh, the only people Hope spoke to were Fang and Vanille he never attempted to speak to Sazh or Snow. "What?" he grumbled Sazh sighed "Look I'm sorry about what happened between you and Light"

Hope looked at the man his green eyes darkening "what do you mean sorry?" "well I can't really understand what you guys had but I know love, and the love between you two was just a little bit different I guess" Sazh said while looking down and scratching the back of his head. Hope was silent for a moment and then a soft smile spread across his face. "Thanks Sazh" he said while blushing

"Yeah, you're welcome kid" _I feel a bit better; maybe I really can go speak to Snow… _Lightning suddenly stopped walking and turned towards the group, her hand on her hip looking dangerous and gorgeous at the same time.

Hope held his breath, she had an indifferent look on her face but he knew better "were getting closer, be on guard" they all nodded, Vanille seemed almost giddy with excitement.

They approached an opening that lead downward into darkness. Hope could feel his stomach sink; images of electrical monsters flooded his mind. _I just know I'm going to be healing myself and the others plenty down here_

The mah'habara the maw of the abyss is what Fang called it. Hope grimaced he didn't like the closed in feeling. The place was beautiful in an eerie kind of way, the way the red dirt shimmered and the various pieces of metal fit together made the area look ancient.

Fang had tried to make conversation but Lightning only replied with one word answers. No one wanted to say too much, tension was high and it was driving Hope crazy.

"What do you want to do Lightning do we rest or keep moving?" Snow asked, Hope was surprised he had not expected the man to be so brave as to speak to Lightning. "Keep moving" she said

That was not what Hope wanted to hear his feet were already aching and his mood was growing darker, he knew if he kept on he would be useless in battle _more like useless to her. _Nevertheless he would continue on and ignore his throbbing feet.

He was lagging behind_ again_ "damn" he said aloud and jogged up to Snow, Sazh, and Vanille. It was getting very warm in the mah'habara and it just put Hope in a worse mood. He was painfully aware of how close Snow was and how easy it would be to talk to him right then and there.

Vanille would turn around and give him a look, and he would nod his head but not really do anything. Fang would constantly roll her eyes at him and he would just glare back. He wanted so bad to just speak with Lightning, to see her smile and spend his days walking right next to her.

Hope suddenly had an idea, he would cause a scene. _I will pretend I'm too tired to continue on and collapse! _ He grinned this was a perfect idea! The group's mutual concern for him would make them stop and rest and he could finally speak to Snow.

Hope began to walk even slower than usual, often stumbling over imaginary rocks and groaning. "You okay kid?" Sazh asked turning towards Hope looking Worried, Lightning too stopped and turned towards him._ Bingo!_ Hope collapsed with a groan panting into the red dirt. "Hope!" it was Lightning _bonus! Light is coming over to me!_ She rushed to his side placing a gloved hand to his forehead. _Her fingers are so soft…_

"We rest _now_" she said firmly, no one argued with her on it, some even seemed grateful.

Lightning watched Hope rest, his eyes continuously fluttered, he even opened one bright green eye to see if Lightning was still watching him. She caught him and he blushed a bright red. "Pranks Hope?"

He now opened both of his eyes and gave her a sheepish smile. "It was necessary Light" she quirked an eye brow but did not question him any further. She sat right next to where he lay she was looking off into the distance, her back rigid and her blue eyes darker than usual.

Hope watched her; he longed to interlace his fingers within hers. They were not alone although Fang was keeping Snow's attention with wild story telling of Vanille when she was younger. Hope blushed when the woman looked back to where Lightning and Hope sat and winked.

"L-Light!" he said making the older woman turn her gaze towards him "something wrong?" Hope shook his head and then sat up and grabbed her hands within his. "I'm going to talk to Snow; I'm going to make him understand!" Lightning seemed startled by his sudden excitement; she smiled softly and pressed her fingers against his head pushing him. "No need Hope"

Hope felt his smile turn into a frown, anger flooded his chest and his frown turned into a scowl. "Why not?" he said trying to keep his voice steady. "Snow was right Hope, it's indecent I should have never allowed it to go so far…"

Hope bit his lip _I'm not just going to let this happen! She was so sad I know it! She needs me just as much as I need her._ His eyes met with hers and in that instant he saw the stony resolve and felt panic. There was no weakness in her eyes and no love. Hope scrambled to his knees and gripped her elbows.

"I can make it better please Light!" Lightning stared straight into his now tearing eyes, she did not doubt his words he would do everything in his power to try and make it right, but all it could ever be is wrong.

"Don't be weak Hope!" she hissed _the only way I can convince him is to be cruel…_ "It will_ never_ happen again" she said coldly. Hope stared at her wide eyed; he didn't want to believe her he wanted to shut out this cruel Light or _Lightning._

His mind touched on every memory of her, the quick sweet kisses and the deeper more passionate ones; he wanted to see the love in her eyes that she never once voiced. "So that's it?" she said nothing Hope removed his hands from her elbows.

"Do you do this a lot?" Lightning moved to stand still refusing to answer him. "Do you always go around sleeping with kids?" hope didn't know why he said it; he simply couldn't control the anger that was bubbling up inside of him.

He saw the hurt flash through Lightning's eyes and her lip seemed to tremble although he couldn't tell for sure. She didn't hit him like he expected hell he would have loved for her to hit him. Instead she turned cold eyes on him.

"Like I said it will never happen again"


	10. chapter 9

_hey this is the last chapter! i tried my best to NOT have any spoilers ha-ha so if there is a certain lack of something it is for that reason, the only spoilers i have in here are the last bosses name and Lightning's real name, sorry if this seems rushed but my Microsoft word like locked down and i have to do a whole buch of downloading in order to get it back, _

_sooo the chapter got finished here on fanfiction. Review! tell me what you liked and what you didn't like. also keep a look out for beta read chapters! i told you before i would replace the chaps and now that the story is over i will get my beta on that! thanks for sticking with me and reading till the end! - questionmarxx_

_blue eyes_

_4 years later_

It was hot, so hot that her uniform stuck uncomfortably against her body. Lightning grimaced she _hated _to sweat, even though she was a soldier she never sweat much she was used to the swift movements and long runs. It was only on incredibly hot days that she would sweat.

The heat reminded her of being stuck in the fifth ark; it had been four years since the fall of Orphan Lightning had moved back to Bodhum Snow and Serah did not live far from her. She liked having them close by well she liked having Serah close by. She entered her home quickly shutting the door behind her.

The lights were off but the sun shone through her windows, Sazh kept in touch with her often sending her letters about his son and his new wife. Lightning was surprised when Sazh announced his engagement soon after Snow and Serah's wedding. The woman was a local beauty that did not look Sazh's age at all but she loved Dajh and they were happy.

Lightning set her gunblade down on the counter, quickly untying the belt on her waist and letting it drop to the floor. This was normal for her, she usually left everything exactly where she dropped it, and the next thing to go was the skirt leaving her in the shorts she wore underneath. She sighed feeling much cooler, she discarded her white over shirt leaving everything on the kitchen floor Lightning ignored the pile and walked to her room.

Snow and Serah had invited her to dinner, Serah went on and on about how important it was for her to be there and that if she was late she would not be forgiven. Lightning smiled to herself_ yeah right like I would be late anyway_. She threw herself on her bed she didn't have to be at Serah's for a few hours.

"Damn my back hurts" she said aloud her voice echoing off the walls of her room,_you're getting old Farron. _Lightning frowned _I'm only 25 what the hell am I thinking?_ She bit her lip_ but you're not 18_ she sat up throwing her legs off the side of her bed letting her boots touch the wooden floor._ I haven't heard from him in awhile…_

Hope was the one who barely kept in touch with her; she figured this was well deserved after everything that transpired between them. Yet she couldn't help but feel disappointed, within the first two years she wrote to him often and he would write back but his letters were short and often about school. Lightning knew he still didn't understand why she decided to leave him but she had hoped they could manage a friendship.

Soon his letters stopped coming, he never replied to any of her recent ones. This didn't bother her that much since her own letters were about work and Serah. She figured those topics were a bore anyway and he just wasn't interested.

Lightning began unlacing her boots; she thought that until she heard that he had been writing to everyone else except her. She remembered a conversation she had with Snow.

"_Hope's been writing to you?" Snow nodded and smiled they were on the beach together, Lightning was sitting down on the sand digging her toes into it, she was frowning_

"_Yup says he's been doing great! He just bought himself a car well his father probably got it for him" Lighting nodded her brows furrowed._

"_Snow what kinds of things do you write about in your letters?" Snow scratched his head thinking for a moment "well I just tell him about Serah and NORA I mean I don't really say much but he always has a lot to say" _

That was when Lightning had realized Hope did not want to speak to her and her alone. She threw her boots and opened the door to her bathroom she walked to the mirror and looked at her reflection. She hadn't been sleeping much, often taking night shifts at the guardian corps she would patrol the city taking out any monsters she could find.

She had bags under her eyes and her skin had lost some of its color. "If I don't fix this Serah is going to ask questions" she then walked over to her shower and turned the water on. Instead of getting directly under the water Lightning sat on the side of the tub she placed her elbows on her knees and clasped her hands together.

_I never knew it would be this hard to live alone…_of course she never said anything to Serah about her constant feelings of loneliness. She had only hinted at it in a letter to Hope which he had refused to acknowledge. Lightning felt herself get angry she stood up and stripped off her last pieces of clothing._ I shouldn't be angry at him; after all he's doing exactly what I told him to do. I guess I didn't expect it to feel so…_

She stepped into the shower raking her fingers through her hair violently _today is not going to be a good day for dinner_. She decided to call Serah and cancel, that way she could get some sleep and stop thinking.

Serah almost choked when she heard her sister's weary voice on the other end of the phone, it was almost six thirty and she decided to call her now! "Claire where are you? Dinners already on the table and the other guests are already here". "Serah, it was a long day I can't make it to dinner" Lightning now sat in her living room.

The lights still turned off and the sun slipping away. She still wore her towel even though she was completely dry now. "Claire what's the matter? You know I've been planning this for awhile now!" Lightning placed a hand against her head and kneaded the skin there "Serah please, I can't do it work kicked my ass today and I have a headache and for some reason my back is killing me, tomorrow I will come over and we can have breakfast."

Serah sighed Sazh and his wife along with Dajh were there and Snow had just went to pick up Hope from the train station. "Claire do not make me drive over there to get you myself, you need to be here everyone is waiting for you!"

Lightning groaned _so she invited other people, this is most likely a reunion now I really don't want to go._"Fine Serah" she hung up and threw off her towel walking to her room. She picked out a black skirt and a red tank top that barely covered the piercing in her belly button. She put back on her boots and didn't bother to do anything with her hair.

Serah smiled triumphantly when she hung up the phone. Sazh came into the kitchen "everything all right? Light's coming right?" Serah nodded and shooed him back to the dining room, just then Snow had walked in with Hope awkwardly trailing behind.

He was taller now and slightly muscular, Snow slapped Hope's back making him cough, "look how tall the kid is now!" Serah smiled and Hope blushed, Sazh came and introduced him to his wife who smiled shyly and shook his hand.

Hope scanned the faces sighing in relief when he did not see Lightning there. He had kept all of her letters, even though they lacked any emotion and completely by passed their former situation. It was still nice to have words that she had taken the time to write to him.

He didn't write back very often if at all. It was painful for him to forget; he couldn't try and be friendly with her when he felt something else. He was angry with her, he hated her, and he loved her. He did manage to apologize to her after his harsh words in the mah'habara but she simply shrugged it off acting as if it were nothing.

He had fallen in love with her in the Gapra whitewood, at that time he was filled with hatred and fear there was no doubt in his mind that he was going to die as an l'cie. Lightning from what she had told him before was leading him on a death march she fully intended to die reaching Eden.

It was then that emotions flared and maybe they both lost their minds.

"_I've got your back Hope, just keep your eyes forward" He nodded his head inching closer and closer to the Behemoth. He could hear Lightning's breathing become harsher, and then he attacked it was a pre emptive strike taking the creature by surprise and nearly staggering it._

_Lightning delivered a devastating blow bringing it all the way to stagger point and launched it into the air while Hope unleashed a torrent of spells upon the beast killing it in under a minute._

"_We got it! Did you see that Light!" he was so excited that Lightning held back a remark since she was indeed part of the fight and had witnessed it firsthand. "Yes, you are already becoming stronger" she said warmly._

_Hope turned to her blushing and smiling brightly. Lightning kept her cool smile. "Well where to now? Do you need to rest or keep going? Remember you took point it's your decision" He smiled again feeling pride swell in his chest he looked at Lightning,_

_she had a hand on her hip her red cape blowing behind her, her cheeks were slightly flushed due to all the running she had been doing. Hope frowned, when he took point he was excited running into monsters almost on purpose enjoying the pride that filled him every time he defeated one. _

_they had made no progress, they still remained in the same area fighting off an endless amount of monsters Lightning must have noticed she most likely didn't say anything to allow him to have his moment. Hope could see how tired she was and under her smile he saw a small flicker of irritation._

_She was doing this for him. "Light I think we should rest and then you can take point tomorrow" he noticed her relief and didn't say anything, Hope hadn't even noticed that he was pushing her limit. Lightning was doing better with him but she simply was not used letting someone else lead._

"_As you wish" she said in her usual tone, she sat down under a crystallized tree removing her gunblade from its sheath. Hope watched her for a moment his gaze intense; Lightning sighed and looked up at him. "Something on your mind?" she asked her blue eyes were darker than usual, it seemed that letting Hope Lead was more tiring than she let on. _

"_Light if you weren't comfortable with me taking point you should have told me…" her eyes widened slightly than she gave a weary sigh "no Hope, it wasn't that" he walked closer to her his bright green eyes questioning. "It's nothing; you did very well today and can take point whenever you wish"_

_That seemed to be the wrong thing to say because Hope instantly stiffened "I don't want to be a charity case Light!" She didn't even look at him; she instead laid her head against the tree and closed her eyes._

"_I want to be stronger! How can I accomplish that if you give me no guidance, I won't learn anything if you let me go off and do whatever I want without any discipline!" she smirked her eyes still closed "you want me to discipline you?"Hope now kneeled in front of her "this isn't a joke! I have something I need to accomplish and if you won't help me then I will do it on my own!"_

_She opened her eyes all hints of amusement gone and replaced by anger. Hope was startled when she got in his face. "So? I didn't say anything to you about it this time, I wanted you to get a feel for things, forgive me for being cautious but you're the type that needs to try things a few times before moving on, you are **not**a natural Hope." she didnt regret her words even when she saw his eyes water what she said was the truth and he deserved the truth. "I just want to die feeling like I accomplished something." he said quietly. Lightning nodded her head she understood what that felt like._

_"it's not all going to happen at once Hope" She heard him sniffle and then she stiffened when he laid his head against her shoulder. She rose her hands akwardly patting his back. He relaxed against her, It was strange laying on the soldier, but he welcomed any human contact he could get. "all right Hope you should get some sleep..." He didnt move and instead spoke his head still nuzzled into her shoulder. "we are going to die huh Light?" she said nothing for awhile she removed her hands from his back and placed them at her sides._

_"If we do we would die for what we believed in" she said softly, she felt the moisture from his tears slide down her shoulder. she sighed "Hope... don't cry" he rubbed his nose against the fabric of her shirt, she held back her urge to cringe. "what if thats not enough?" Lightning frowned her brows furrowed. "i dont understand what you mean" she answered honestly, she was tired already her eye lids were heavy and she was finding it hard to focus. "i dont want to feel alone anymore" she thought she felt lips press against her shoulder but she ignored it._

_"hey, your not alone we are in this mess together" Hope lifted his head to stare into her eyes. Lightning stared back and then reached up a hand to wipe away his tears. "so now will you please go to sleep?" he shook his head and she frowned. "Hope you need to sleep" he bit his lip and lifted his hands to lightly grasp her shoulders. She wanted to sigh again there was no way he was sleeping next to her. What happened next surprised them both._

_He kissed her gently, kissing the top of her lip and then the bottom. He pulled away to take in her expression, she was surpised and he saw anger flash behind her eyes. Hope moved quickly kissing her with a bit more pressure, she made no move to stop him but she remained still and quiet. When he pulled away the second time something new was in her eyes, they held an understanding within them._

_Hope felt his heart hammering against his chest, Lightning inched closer capturing his lips with hers. he sighed closing his eyes, his hands moved to the belt tied around her white vest. It fell away quickly and Hope had to take a few shaky breaths before he gathered up the courage to unzip the short turtle kneck she wore underneath._

_L_ightning trudged through the sand to her sisters home. She had a bottle of wine held tightly in her hand and a scowl on her face. Instead of banging on the door like she wanted Lightning knocked softly answering a swift 'Light' when asked who it was. Snow opened the door grinning like an idiot.

"sis! You made it!" Lightning grunted her reply and stuffed the wine against his chest, she swept by him and strode into the dining room. Serah stood up from her chair and went towards the approaching foot steps. "Light!" she said choosing not to use her sisters real name, Lightning stood in front of Serah then allowed her eyes to wander. She spotted Hope immediately who was blushing profusely for some reason, she thought nothing of it until she saw Sazh's wife staring at her with a slight blush on her face as well.

_what the hell... oh it must be the piercing, damn _Lightning shifted on her feet when she saw Serah's eyes drift down to her exposed stomach. She sighed "can i just sit anywhere? And i brought a bottle of wine, Snow has it" Serah jumped looking at her sisters tired face "y-yeah right across from Hope" She moved quickly ignoring Sazh's chuckle when she sat down. Snow came in setting the bottle down in the middle of the table.

The dinner was quiet for the most part besides Serah's questions about Lightning's piercing "so when did you get it?" Lightning inwardly groaned. "a couple of years ago" she said chewing on a piece of meat. "d-does it hurt?" Hope blurted out and then turned red when Lightning's eyes turned toward him. "no, it does'nt hurt" Serah pouted "you would never let me get something like that..." This time Lightning did groan

" Serah by all means its your body do whatever the hell you want" That only proved to make Serah more upset "so you dont care?" Lightning decided not to answer, and instead focused on chewing the incredibly hard meat. "who made this?" Snow smiled widely "why? Is it the most delicous thing youve ever tasted?" Lightning didnt even crack a smile "no, it tastes like a piece of leather next time stay out of the kitchen."

"Claire!" Lightning shrugged, she heard Sazh Laugh Dajh remained quiet fiddling with his carrots. Hope cracked a small smile his mind elsewhere.

Lightning wanted to leave quickly her head was still hurting and the meat that she ate made it worse. "thank you for dinner" she said while waving. the others were now in the living room talking about the past, a part of her longed to join them but in a way she felt like she was'nt apart of that world. "Leaving so soon?" Sazh asked she nodded smiling "yeah i cant afford to sleep in tomorrow" he frowned " so you talk to him yet?" Hope sat on the floor staring at the ceiling completely oblivious to what was going on around him.

"No, its better this way I have no regrets" he folded his arms across his chest, "yeah well I'll see ya Light" she hummed in response turning to leave.

_No, its better this way... _Hope had heard her he was listening extra close to everything she said tonight whether it be important or not. And now she was leaving, He stood up not even really glancing at the others when he walked out muttering a quick "be right back" She was turning the knob to the front door when he caught up with her.

"Light" She sighed pushing the door open and motioning for him to follow. He said nothing his eyes fixed on her face. She looked tired, there were bags under her bright blue eyes her hair hung wildly around her and her red tank top was wrinkled. she crossed her arms eyes on his, waiting.

"I'm sorry I stopped writing to you..." she still said nothing her face impossible to read. Hope ran a hand through his hair and sighed "I w-wanted to write but the words just would'nt come." She frowned and he continued you on "But I thought of you every day! I swear I did..."

"Hope, it's all in the past now" he pulled the front of his white shirt and looked down, he was so much taller than her but he never felt as small as he did now. "yeah, I know" She smirked and lifted his chin with her finger "Keep your eyes forward Hope,no more looking down or behind you for that matter"

Hope gave her a small smile "I can't forget though" she sighed "I'm not asking that of you" He stepped closer wrapping his arms around her shoulders. "Can we start over?" she chuckled lifting her arms to rest against his back.

"Do I have a choice?"


End file.
